As I write this, my daughter is 3 days away from being 10 months old. Looking back, I can't believe how much I have changed in the last 10 months. Obviously our entire world was flipped upside down the day she entered this world, but what has also changed is who we are as people. As each day goes on, I am becoming more confident in my role as mommy. Yes, there are moments and even entire days when I feel like I'm not being the best mom I can be... [especially when a certain child refuses to nap, we both end up crying] For the most part, I feel like a good mom.
When she was born, I felt lost. How will I know what she needs? What if I choice I make screws her up forever? My husband and I were solely responsible for her survival. I was overwhelmed and obviously not very confident. As each day came and went, I learned more about my daughter and the person she was. We figured out this new life together.
I try not to beat myself up for things that happened early on and realize that everything happens for a reason. God gives me these little challenges to help me grow. I would pray for strength, for patience, for wisdom... At times I feel like He wasn't listening. He was, I just needed to realize that it takes time to learn how to be a parent. Eisley is constantly changing and I've learned that I have to adapt to that. Just when we get into a routine, something changes and our routine isn't working anymore is when I feel the weakest. Again, I just pray for strength.
With each day, comes a new challenge. I'm not a perfect parent, nor will I ever be. I'm me. Mommy to Eisley, wife to Craig. I have my flaws and I'm trying to realize what they are instead of refusing to believe they exist. All in all, I am extremely thankful for everything that has happened in the past 10 months... good and bad. I can't wait to see what the next 10 months will bring.
[caption id="attachment_494" align="aligncenter" width="575"]
My crazy little bean![/caption]
No comments:
Post a Comment