I have felt like breaking down and crying at many different points over the last week.
I'm sorry to start this off so negatively. It's just how I have felt. I feel like it's just naturally something that happens when your child is about to turn 1. We have hit the 11 month mark and to my surprise, I was overwhelmed with a wave of emotions the day she turned 11 months. It felt like fall, which reminded me of her newborn days in St. Louis... carrying around this tiny little girl, just trying to figure out who she was. I remember looking out our front window and watching the leaves change colors and thinking about how fun her first Thanksgiving would be. Fall is my favorite time of year and I was so excited to share it with our daughter.
Now,almost one year later the weather feels exactly the same. However we are in a different city and my daughter is almost a toddler. She took her first steps yesterday (eek!!), she can feed herself, she understands phrases and words and she knows who mama and dada are. Where did my baby go?! I say that often now. Seriously why is time going so fast?
Being in the last month of her first year is so bittersweet. It's so exciting to see how she changes everyday and what a "big girl" she's becoming, yet it's sad because she's slowly becoming less and less dependent on me. And soon I won't be able to say "This time last year I was pregnant..." Has it really almost been an ENTIRE year since I first looked into her little eyes? It just doesn't seem possible.
Ugh. I will stop being a Debbie Downer. This is also a really exciting time for many reasons. I love the little person she is. She is at a really fun age of exploring and learning new things. She is such a friendly, social baby and smiles at everyone she sees (even strangers at the grocery store) It's also pretty fun to plan her birthday. It's going to be a ladybug theme so I'm obsessed with finding all things ladybug or red and black polka dots. This is the fun part about having kids, right? Growing up, changing, evolving, becoming their own person? I just need to breathe and soak in every last baby moment. I'm secretly praying she never grows taller and keeps her chubby little hands forever. Hey, I can dream!
